Pills for Cheap

“Nothing. That’s why you have to stay with me. That’s why you have to be my slave. You’re only something at all because you’re with me, who’s everything. Say, ‘You are everything, Master, and I am nothing.’”

“You are everything, Master, and I am nothing.”

“Now, do exactly as I say!”

“Yes, sir.”

“Unzip my fly. Unzip it right now.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Take it out.”

“Take out what, sir?”

“Don’t act stupid. Take it out.”

“Your cock, sir?”

“Don’t say that word.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Fondle it.”

“Yes, sir.”

“That’s right, keep fondling it.” “Yes, sir. Does it feel good, sir?”

“Don’t ask questions. I didn’t say you could ask me questions.”

“Sorry, sir.”

“Now, take off your clothes. Leave on your panties. Follow my instructions exactly.” “Yes, sir.”

“That’s right. Take them off.” “Yes, sir.”

“But leave on your panties, because I don’t want to see your dirty hole.” “Yes, sir.”

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Players: Prostitute and John.

Activist: Wife, without husband’s foreknowledge, or both. Setting: Home or hotel.

Aim: Arouse wife’s sexual passion by appealing to her prostitute fantasies, while prodding husband out of his oral (“Take care of me, please!“) passivity.

Game Plan: If the wife is up to it, she may want to spring this game on her unsuspecting husband some night at home or away during a vacation. Or, they may both participate in setting up and playing the game. If the wife activates the game on her own, it is more likely not only to plug in to her whore fantasies, but also to appeal to the angry, proud aspect of her character.

One night while the husband is either home or in a rental room alone, the wife rings the doorbell several times, insistently. He opens it to find a quite different wife than he has ever seen before. She is dressed for the part, with hair all askew, oodles of red lipstick, eyeliner, rouge, a low-cut neckline, a miniskirt, net stockings, and high-heeled shoes. She smiles seductively and slithers saucily across the room.

*92/196/1*

Players: Depressed wife and fairy godfather (nondepressed husband).

Activist: Nondepressed husband. Setting: Home.

Aim: Draw wife out of her depression by appealing to her rescue fantasy.

Game Plan: The wife is moping around when the doorbell rings and she opens the door (or, alternately, the wife is lying in bed and the husband bursts into the room). He wears a costume that befits her fantasy—Superman, Robin Hood, a prince, a fairy with wings.

“Hi! It’s me—your fairy godfather! My card!” He hands her a home-made card, then whirls around the room, his cape or wings flowing. Depending on the nature of his wife’s depression and personality, he may dance around the room for a time, waving the magic wand, or stride toward her in a princely fashion.

“What are you doing?” his wife may ask in a sarcastic tone. “Stop being stupid.”

If she is in on the game, she will play along of her own accord. If the game is a surprise, she may continue to try to negate it. (All such negation should be firmly countered.)

*67/196/1*

Prior to the 1950s, therapists most frequently met with couples in which the husband was too aggressive and the wife too passive. Nowadays, perhaps due to changes in social values, we more frequently encounter couples among whom the reverse is true. Pierre Mornell, a clinical psychologist, wrote a book about this latter syndrome, giving it the humorous title Passive Men and Wild Women.

A patient I have treated for a while is involved in the latter-type marriage. Her husband, a devout Quaker, appears to be the perfect mate. In many ways he is very attentive to her: He cooks wonderful meals, does windows, is handy around the house, and never loses his temper. He believes he is a spiritual and concerned person. Twice a day he meditates, and often he goes away on meditation retreats. Yet—despite all this—my patient continually feels furious toward him, and even finds herself saying sarcastic things to him in front of people at parties, causing them to Wonder (sometimes aloud) how come this nice guy puts up with such a monstrous mate. And every other month, she explodes, throws whatever she can grab at him, and pummels him with her fists.

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These games do not stay in the same stage as do the common sexual games, but rather evolve through two stages. The first stage comprises games that address a particular symptom with their typical underlying fixations. These games, which encompass most of the chapters in this book, include everything from “Games for Bored Couples” to “Games for Unat-tracted Couples.” The games are to be repeated as often as necessary until a couple feel that they have accomplished their purposes, which we assume have to do with revitalizing their interest in sex, their sexual passion, and their commitment and love for each other.

The second stage is made up of “Games to Restore Tenderness.” Again, these games should be repeated as often as necessary until tenderness is revived. Once tenderness is rekindled in their marriage, couples find that they become more adjusted and tolerant and easygoing with other people, developing a “fellow-feeling” toward humanity that might have been lacking before, or which they might have had but not with much emotional intensity. (Note that the intense feelings that individuals have for religious or social causes are not to be confused with fellow-feeling, which consists of acceptance of all people, regardless of their views.)

*17/196/1*