AN A-Z OF EMOTIONAL PAIN: CONFLICT

The beginning of the resolution of conflict is when we acknowledge that we all think differently. Our values vary depending on when we were born and where, as well as the influences of our parents, teachers, relatives, friends, music, films, TV and books. All these have the power to change our attitudes. We can defuse a difficult situation if we take into account that we are all looking at it from differing viewpoints.

In resolving conflict it is important to allow each person to have their say without interruption. This gives everyone a chance to express their feelings. Nothing is more aggravating than not being heard. Listen and watch heated discussions on television with two hard-headed opponents drowning each other out. Absolutely nothing is ever resolved and it has now been proved that conflict reduces our immune systems significantly.

The world is such that we can no longer have winners and losers. Everyone must feel that their viewpoint has been heard and the resulting decisions made with mutual agreement. The same techniques used to solve family problems can be used in the larger world of business negotiations and national affairs. What works for one will give you an idea of how you can handle the other. We must learn to co-operate.

There will always be some tension and resentment in any group. A successful means of communication is to ask people how they feel about a subject and really listen to the answer. This takes time, and isn’t that what older people have available to give to the young?

The 8 a.m. breakfast-school-time is perhaps the most stressful in households with children. This was the scenario with one of my friends. Daughter was late with homework unfinished, and mother became very angry when daughter missed the bus. Everyone was at flash point, when ‘conflict resolution technique’ (which we had studied together) was instituted. This consists of closing your eyes, thinking of a peaceful place you’d rather be in, taking some slow deep breaths, calming down, sitting down and holding hands. Then one person at a time has three minutes to state what they are feeling and why. No interruptions are allowed.

It didn’t take long before the child had explained that the homework was not needed until the next day, and the mother realised that what had made her tense was an unresolved problem with her husband that had nothing to do with her child. Hugs and apologies all round. Mother then drove daughter to school so she wasn’t late.

It’s amazing how we hold our breath when we are tense and angry. This raises our blood pressure and you notice it when people go red in the face. If they are already hypertensive, it can be a serious situation as a blood vessel may burst.

The solution is obvious but alas not till it is pointed out to you. Slow the breath down just enough to control the episode till reason prevails. This can save your life! Don’t overdo it or you could become dizzy. Business executives are taught this control technique in biofeedback classes. It’s good to feel you are in control.

Acupuncture is my first choice but it takes time to come to the clinic! These are homoeopathics for people who go red in the face when stressed. Excellent Bach Flower remedies are sweet chestnut and vervain.

*121\19\2*

Share and Enjoy:
  • Digg
  • Sphinn
  • del.icio.us
  • Facebook
  • Reddit
  • StumbleUpon
  • Yahoo! Bookmarks
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter

Related Posts:

Posted on Friday, March 20th, 2009 at 1:09 pm and is filed under Pain Relief-Muscle Relaxers. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

Leave a reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.